Those Damn Tour Guides

My son's teacher told me that she has had a problem with him being a bit too headstrong and wanting to do things his own way. I certainly have NO idea where he got this from. It MUST be from his dad. . I mean, when we arrived in Italy, I was more than content trusting and following in the footsteps of our trusted tour guides. I figured there was NO way I could know more than they did...that there was NO way they could lead me in the wrong direction. I mean, I grew up in one of the most "touristy" corners of the US. I've SEEN tour guides. They carry their colorful umbrellas or tour signs with such authority, how could they possibly not know what they are doing? I mean, at least in the US, I spoke the same language they did, and could tell that they weren't spouting B.S. Here, with the heavy Italian accents, I truly have no clue if what they are saying is truth or a crock.

I realize that the front desk guy at the hotel was not an official tour guide, but it was Pisa, and we were not the first tourists to stay at his hotel. When we asked him how to get to the bus station, he had NO clue. It wasn't that he didn't understand our English, or that he didn't understand that we were looking for a bus. He just had no CLUE where the actual station was located. It turned out that it was merely 3 blocks away. We ended up walking to the train station, about 8 blocks away, just to be re-directed to the bus station, five blocks back towards our hotel. Oh, and don't ask a cabbie for directions unless you are sitting in their cab and paying them money. BIG mistake. I thought maybe the lost blonde American woman thing would work for me. He must have been gay.

Then there was the worthless tourguide to Florence. During the one hour bus ride to Florence, he droned on and on about the amazing city of Rome. Wrong trip, fella! For the low price of $35 per person, our family of four was plopped at the edge of the city and pointed in the general direction of the center of town. He also scared the canollis out of us by saying that if we weren't back to the bus in time, it would leave without us. So, we cut our trip short to make sure we weren't stuck in Florence without a ride home.

But was this the last time I was misled by a tour guide? Oh no, not me. I truly am a glutton for punishment. I really do want to give people a chance to show me they care, and I figured maybe just the tour guides on the western corner of Italy are crummy. Why not see what the east coasters can do.

What can they do? They can lead a group of 16 women onto a bus, and then almost get us each a 75 euro fine (that would be about $125 US dollars) for not stamping our bus pass. She was hurrying our group onto the bus so fast that she told us to bypass the stamp machine. Next thing you know, some burly, anti-American bus patrol guys are on the bus and happened to pick the loudest girl in our group to question on why her ticket wasn't stamped. When I say loudest, what I mean is most likely to argue with a burly anti-American bus patrol guy. And where was our tour guide during this time? She was towards the back of the bus, sitting comfortably in a seat, chatting it up with some other Italian people. Were we fined, no. Were we happy that we were almost fined, no. Am I done with Italian tour guides, definitely. Well...at least until we need to go somewhere that my headstrong and stubborn self isn't quite willing to lead the way through herself.

Ciao' for now!